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It’s 11:40 PM on a Sunday evening – my brain won’t turn off. It’s been a day of reflection, of rest, of mental struggle – but hopefully a day that yields much fruit.
Very few times a year can I simply be someone who goes to church and has little to no responsibility – but today was one of those days. I took an entire week off from the business at Cross Keys, and attempted to find rest and renewal. No meetings, no rehearsals, no planning. Also this week, I ended a 21 day fast of sorts, in which Wendy and I, and others in our church sought God’s will. But as I take inventory on this late Sunday evening, I find myself somehow dry and empty. Instead of answers, I find myself with more questions. Instead of rest in God, I find myself once again wrestling with Him. And in spite of it all – I somehow know that all will be okay, in HIS will and in HIS time. But oh, how I struggle!
My life has been occupied with our upcoming sale of our house (we’ll be listing in the next few weeks). Since Monday, Wendy and I have had 3 meetings with different realtors, numerous phone calls with lenders, and plenty of discussions about the future – what God has in store for us, where he wants us – the easy questions in life, I guess
A house that I had my hopes on now has a pretty solid contract on it – by another couple. It appears a house that I had my heart set on is now not going to be mine. I know and hear all of the cliches Christians use: “God has something else in store”, or “In His timing”. These are the same phrases I find myself so easily uttering when speaking of others’ circumstances. But then they happen to me – and suddenly those same phrases sound so empty, devoid of any meaning to my current situation. My head knows they are true, but my spirit rejects them.
I was able to be ministered to today as a simple worshipper, instead of leading others in worship. Even in this seemingly blessed opportunity, questions remain, both about God’s will and His timing.
I’m trying too hard in MY strength. I’m recognizing the great lengths to which I’m willing to push myself, before I rely on God to sustain me. We sang an older praise song today – “Open the Eyes of My Heart”, and I wept as I sang the familiar chorus “Holy Holy Holy, I want to see You”. I realize that I have taken advantage of His incredible holiness. I’ve diluted it to allow my persistent sins to reside and take foothold in my life. For too long, it’s been about ME – about seeking MY gratification. Instead of living out my faith with sincerity and devotion solely to Christ – I’ve been concerned with pleasing myself – and others.
Wendy made a poignant observation about me tonight. She rightly identified that I love constant challenges – I get bored without them, and I thrive in overcoming them. But has my overblown sense of accomplishment devalued the work of Christ in me? Where is the room for God to be glorified, when I boast in what I have accomplished? As Paul stated in 2 Cor 12 – “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
And I as I begin to rely on HIS strength moving in my life, I begin to understand that I have done nothing in my own strength that is worthy of being called righteous. This summer, Bekah (my 3 year old) and I stepped into a batting cage to hit a softball. I, of course, held the bat, took a swing when it was time, and directed the ball where it should. But everytime we made contact, Bekah jumped and giggled, because “[She] did it!!!” How silly we must look, puffing out our chests, when in reality, God has orchestrated all things in us, to accomplish HIS purpose.
And perhaps that’s where I leave things tonight. As I wind down the day, and reflect on the lessons God has yet to teach me, perhaps the idea to which I’m to cling is this: “yet will I trust Him”. He has NEVER done anything that wasn’t for my benefit, and I trust that He won’t stop now. The road I’m walking isn’t a series of arrivals, of resting points, but rather a journey that He has asked me to walk.
Greater things are yet to come, Greater things are still to be done – not by me, but by HIM. To Him alone be the glory!
37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I was listening to Passion: Awakening recently on my way into work. Christi Nockels sings a song called “Healing Is In Your Hands”. I was absolutely moved by this song – it was amazing! Nothing can separate us from the love of God – what mercy, what love he shows to us!
I found myself raising my hands in worship – in the midst of Harrisburg traffic – tears streaming down my cheeks. Thank you Lord, for the love you’ve shown to us.
I‘m a iPhone At Bat user. I can’t get Phils games on video, as I live in the bcast area (Carlisle, PA – 17013). Weekday games are shown on CSN Philly. I get CSN Mid-Atl for the O’s & Nats. I checked w/ Comcast, Dish and Direct, they don’t offer CSN Philly.
On Sun, I watch Phils on WLYH. MLB.TV won’t help, as games are blacked out. Why does MLB.tv &At Bat app say I’m in the bcast area, when I’m not most of the time? Thank you for your time and assistance – this is truly a frustrating matter!
Lincoln Brewster has become one of my favorite worship leaders in the last year!
Free website – Wix.com
Senator Casey, I’m quite concerned with the recent news of a health-care reform “compromise”. Unfortunately, I cannot speak from first-hand knowledge, since we, the American Public, haven’t been able to read the final version of the bill – a bill shrouded in secrecy. I suspect with all the back-door dealing, you haven’t read the entire bill either.
According to reports, the bill includes “compromise” language which intends to allay fears over abortion coverage being provided with tax-payer money.
You and I disagree on many issues; however, I respect your stand on abortion – much in the same way I appreciated and admired your father’s willingness to run contrary to the DNC position on abortion.
Allow me to be clear – any “compromise” on abortion funding isn’t as much a compromise as it is a slippery slope to federal funding for the heinous murder of the unborn child. Allowing states to exempt themselves from abortion funding isn’t a victory for the rights of the unborn child. It’s a shady attempt to appease a vocal majority of Americans who will stand on principal to protect those who cannot fight for themselves.
Meaningful healthcare reform is needed in our country, but the versions offered by the current Administration and Congress falls WAY short of anything meaningful. Meaningful reform which reduces heathcare costs should include important issues like tort reform and government regulation.
While the current version precludes a public option for healthcare, the American public is not naive to the desire of administration and congressional leaders to include such an option, whether it be now, or in the future. Should the government overstep its bounds and enter a sphere appropriately occupied only by private enterprise, the government will thereby be both provider and watchdog. Such a system has no checks and balances, and will ultimately be corrupted and ineffectively.
I urge you to vote NO to the current bill. Senator, I’m sure you understand that compromise isn’t possible in dealing with issues of the unborn child. Compromise on firm principles is never a means to an end – it is moral defeat!
This is story of a boy – a boy with technology failures. A boy with his 2 technology failures…
After a firmware upgrade, my router (A Multitech RouteFinder 830) refused to pass external VPN packets to clients in my network. To add insult to injury, my backup drive (A LaCie Quadra 500GB) failed yesterday. I’ve been thinking about a Time Capsule for some time, and now seems like the best time! The newest member of the Danner technology family is a Time Capsule!
What is a Time Capsule you ask? Well, it’s pictured here. Yep, a shiny Apple on top – but that’s not the cool part. It is a wireless router – like a Linksys or Netgear you might have in your home. But that’s not all! It also has a hard drive inside – for backups. My MacBook Pro and Wendy’s iMac can both use that Hard Drive to automatically back up using Time Machine – a backup utility included with Mac OS 10.5 (Leopard).
But wait – there’s more! Notice the USB port on the back panel? I can also connect a printer to share among all my computers. I mulled the 1 TB model, but decided against it because of price (almost $500). I picked up the Time Capsule for under $300 – about the same price as a new hard drive and a Linksys Router.
Side note: I picked mine up at Amazon and signed up for a 3 month trial of Amazon Prime. For $79 a year, I can receive 2 day shipping on products purchased through Amazon. I purchase enough stuff online, so I think this will pay off in the long run – plus it’s a business expense! Whoo hoo!
I’ve recorded some worship songs. My neighbor, Rick Johns (Studio 615), provided much needed assistance! Track 3 is an original song I wrote 3 years ago. I hope you enjoy them… (Right click and select “save as” to save them to your hard drive)
|1.||Days of Elijah||m4a||mp3|
|2.||Ancient of Days||m4a||mp3|
|3.||Yours and Yours Alone||m4a||mp3|
|4.||I Sing Praises to Your Name||m4a||mp3|
|5.||Here I Am to Worship||m4a||mp3|
|6.||All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name||m4a||mp3|
Well, we’re going to try this blogging thing again. If you check in from time to time, Wendy or I will update you on our lives, including the wonderful events involving Rebekah!